CantStandJa

13th
February

7 notes

I think it moved.

11th
February

9 notes

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, Mister!

29th
January

0 notes

In [female] matters you never do what your instincts tell you. Always, ALWAYS do the opposite.

28th
January

18 notes

Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating. That’s a fantasy camp!!

3rd
March

8 notes

I’m going down with the ship.

23rd
February

1 note

JERRY: I’ve been thinking about asking this girl I’m seeing, Vanessa, to go away for a couple of days.
GEORGE: Oh no. No, no,no,no,no. I’d have to advise against that. What do you know this woman, a month? Let’s see, you’re going to be with her seventy-two hours. That’s a dating decathlon.

23rd
February

3 notes

George: Guys with cats… meh. I don’t know…

16th
February

3 notes

I love the mirror in that bathroom! I don’t know what in the hell it is; I look terrific in that mirror. I don’t know if it’s the tile or the lighting… I feel like Robert Wagner.

15th
February

77 notes

bbook:

gpoy

23rd
January

1 note

George: We were in the lobby during the intermission of the play. I was buying her one of those containers of orange drink, for five dollars. I reached into my pocket to pay for it, I looked down; there’s this piece of green floss hanging from my fingers. I’m looking at it, I look up, I see she’s looking at it. Our eyes lock. It was a horrible moment.
Jerry: So let me get this straight: she saw the floss, you panicked and you told her you liked her.
George: If I didn’t put that floss in my pocket, I’d be crawling around her bedroom right now looking for my glasses.

23rd
January

3 notes

I have this sick compulsion to tell women how I feel.

21st
January

3 notes

Jerry: [Hand]shake is bad, but what if it’s the “two-hander”? The hand on the bottom, the hand on the top, the warm look in the eyes?
George: The Hand-sandwich.

19th
January

6 notes

I can’t believe you’re bringin’ in an extra bed for woman, that wants to sleep with you.
Why don’t you bring in an extra guy too?

18th
January

4 notes

Jerry? I have to tell ya somethin’. This is the dullest moment I’ve ever experienced.